Feeling Sadness

Spiritual growth inevitably involves allowing illusions to die. And as long as we are striving and using willful intent, life will continue to break our hearts. It wears us down until we are able to surrender and accept things as they are (and not as we need them to be).

So how do we allow ourselves to accept loss and feel sadness without getting mired in self-pity and depression?

We have to feel the pure emotion without identifying with it. It is ceasing to attach to the feeling. We are not sad or down or depressed- we are merely experiencing sadness. While this may seem like a subtle distinction, it makes all the difference in the world.

We actually experience feelings relatively quickly. When we grieve something, it often comes in waves. We might feel sadness when the sun goes down and then laugh with a friend later that evening. Then we feel happy to be alive in the morning, but feel another wave of sadness at lunch.

It is only through attaching to the sadness that we stay in an extended sad state. And experiencing sadness does not have to incapacitate us. We do not need to cease living our life to feel the sadness. It fact, sometimes keeping ourselves moving forward prevents us from reacting to the sadness and indulging in self-pity.

Self-pity is incredibly seductive. It releases endorphins and is very addictive. Pretty soon we are not feeling the sadness anymore, but the chemical reaction to it. And it “hurts so good,” to quote John Mellencamp.

But until we feel the natural sadness and loss that is there, without morphing it into something else, the sadness will not release. So it keeps lingering there just below the surface reinforcing the story we tell ourselves that we are in an extended state of sadness.

2 comments (Add your own)

1. Beth wrote:
Yes, I agree that feeling the sadness, acknowledging it and releasing it and even delving deeper into the smallest of triggers from the past to release that as well for transformation into the Light does a world of good. I feel this cycle moving in my body every month, and sometimes I will end up watching a sad movie synchronistically so that the tears flow and only later I realize the cause in my current life path and related to other times in my lifetime experience. The ending joy I feel moving through this cycle to completion is reward in itself and oftentimes I share the experience with my children so that their spirit gets it, moving them along their own divine life paths with the speed of light.

Tue, January 21, 2014 @ 10:32 AM

2. Mike Hoffman wrote:
Thanks for your wisdom Beth. My experience is that it takes so much courage and strength to feel pure sadness. Sometimes I observe myself distracting myself from my sadness with various things. It is like I am afraid of it. Other times I let myself feel it. I have so much respect for you being willing to experience your sadness and honor its cycle. So few are willing to do that.

Tue, January 21, 2014 @ 10:26 PM

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