Letting Go of the Outcome

The following is an excerpt from Chapter 10- The Dance of Unfoldment in Michael Hoffman's upcoming book, Natural Way of Being

When we take intentional action to initiate the dance of unfoldment, it is essential to let go of the outcome. We live in a results-based culture and obviously getting results has it place. Your boss or team leader wants results, right?

But with the dance of unfoldment, we are interacting with many things beyond our control. And when allowing things to unfold, we are not going to try to control or force things to happen outside of ourselves to get specific outcomes.
 

Instead of forcing outcomes, we are going to learn from the outcomes that unfold. We might say, "Wow I did not see that one coming," and then change our approach. Our next intentional action adjusts based on what we learned from the previous outcomes. So you learn from the outcome, but never take responsibility for it. Rather, you take responsibility for your intentional action. 

Accordingly, instead of evaluating yourself on the basis of outcomes, you are going to evaluate your intentional action. Ask yourself, "Was there anything else I could have done to create connection in that experience?" Or perhaps, "Did I give it my all?" And, "Did I allow things to unfold or did I try to force things?"  

We cannot afford to take it personally if a possibility does not unfold. The outcome is not entirely about us. The people we collaborate with in a potential possibility may get excited at first, but then as it takes time and effort to develop it, they may lose interest. Yet many of us feel rejection and a sense of failure when a collaborative possibility does not actualize itself. We get discouraged and then cease exploring other possibilities for months or even years. 

Once you let go of the outcome and detach from taking it personally, it is exciting seeing which possibilities actually develop. You merely keep nurturing the various possibilities and watch which ones unfold. You may be surprised as to which ones take off.

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