Your Standards of Excellence

We are conditioned to look outside of ourselves to evaluate ourselves and determine if what we did was acceptable. This of course does not work, because we are evaluating ourselves in terms of other people’s notions of us. These notions are ultimately based in terms of how they think we should be. This typically results in us feeling really poorly about ourselves.

In order to dodge this bullet, we need to discipline ourselves to look to ourselves to evaluate ourselves. In other words, look inside instead of outside. And to do this we need standards to evaluate ourselves with. Call them your standards of excellence.

Once you have standards of excellence for yourself, all you have to do when some has an issue with you is evaluate what you did or said in terms of your standards of excellence. If what you did falls short of your standards, then take responsibility for how it affected the other person and move on.

If however, what you did or said falls within your standards of excellence, let it be the other person’s issue. You can have compassion for it upsetting to them, but never lose sight of the fact that it is their issue. This keeps you clear of other people’s notions of how you should be which is quite liberating.
So perhaps it might serve you take some time to clarify your standards of excellence. Topics include: parenting, work, marriage, friendship, ethics, values, religion/spirituality, and personal integrity.

Or perhaps you are clear on these things and all you need to do is take a moment to evaluate what you did when someone takes issue with it.

Then you can see yourself in terms on how you actually are.

4 comments (Add your own)

1. midge wrote:
Good one Mike!

Sat, January 4, 2014 @ 7:17 PM

2. Mike wrote:
Thanks Midge.

Sun, January 5, 2014 @ 1:06 PM

3. Beth wrote:
I like this, Mike. It is a clear reminder to do your best and let go of the rest. And when interacting within close relationships, it is very helpful to not take things personally. If something feels "off" then go within for answers and always continue forward motion with the intention of love, expecting on the best and forgiving oneself for the misaligned thoughts. This allows the standards of excellence to flourish within our lives and to become more common in our interactions with others, especially those near and dear to our hearts.

Sat, January 25, 2014 @ 1:09 PM

4. Mike Hoffman wrote:
Well said Beth. You are a gifted writer. I especially liked the going inside for answers when something seems off.

Sat, January 25, 2014 @ 7:14 PM

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